tanner

i always think about tanner around his birthday and then again in the summer. although he was younger than me, we were still very close growing up. i can't quite remember at what point he started being idolized by our little brothers. i think it was because there were susan's boys, and then a bunch of girls, and then tanner started off the cousins just below all of us. in high school our school even played his one year (that is pretty crazy considering i'm in inner-city phoenix and he was in scottsdale) but at half time we met up on his school's side and talked for a while. i remember how much my brothers looked up to and loved him (and still do). all through jr. high and high school leiland and james had a grave rubbing from his tombstone on their wall. our family would end up talking about him fairly often. i know all of these are broken thoughts and nothing very concrete... but i actually felt the closest to tanner while i was in the mtc. (i just went back through my missionary journal to remind myself of the experiences) from my very first large group meeting there it was as if i felt his presence. i felt like he should be in the mtc with me (he was two years behind me so we could have been there at the same time) and i kept searching for an elder smith. on one particular day i distinctly remember feeling him next to me and knowing that he was okay, and getting ready to do the same work i was. i'm not sure if this was quite the forum to share that experience, but it was so vivid and so real. it is something i have never ever forgotten... just like none of us will ever forget tanner.